It's happened again...

This always happens. I get too wrapped up in life and forget to blog. Well, I don't actually forget, but I just don't have time. Forgive me?? I guess I'll just give you guys an update although I really want to talk about a decision I've made. I can't say much yet, but it involves work. You guys who've known me for years and gone through the job stress with me will understand.

Anyway, let's review what's happened since I was here last. My aunt died. She was my mother's sister. We were never really close to her...I'm not sure what happened between those two as kids, but she and my mom didn't get along. I saw her sporadically over the years, and that always upset me because I loved her kids and grandkids. I would really have liked to be close with them. My mom's brother and his family was always very close to my aunt...they hung around together all the time. I hate going to that kind of funeral...where you should be close to the family but aren't and you spend all your time sitting in a corner because no on knows you. Yeah, good times.

One thing I noticed at the funeral was how frail my mother has become. She found out eight years ago that she has Emphysema and it has taken it's toll. She can't walk for long distances...she has trouble breathing...even a trip to the grocery store exhausts her. But seeing her with people her own age was a shock...she was like a ninety year old. Her brother helped her walk at the visitation...she couldn't walk out to the cemetary for the funeral so I stayed inside the church with her. People came up to her as she sat to give their condolences because she didn't have the energy to go to them. Her sister was 77 when she died and Mom is 71. I don't know that my mom will make it to 77 and it's really hit me hard.

Erik and I are doing fine. We have our cruise almost paid for...just waiting for tax refunds to finish it off. We've decided to have a very small, family only wedding to cut down on costs but then we're having a huge reception/party once we come back from the cruise. I'm not a big wedding person...I think a lot of money is wasted on the ceremony, so this seems best for us. Bailey is excited, though he's already starting to dread this summer because of the visits with his dad. I told him he would probably spend that week of our cruise with his dad and he cried. He wants to spend it with my sister and her kids, but this way he's at least getting the first week of his six week visitation with his dad out of the way. What a pain.

Oh, big news and I almost forgot! I'm in the "process" of getting scheduled for Lapband surgery. I say it like that because it's still going to take forever to get to that point. I'm sure it won't take place until after my wedding and cruise, so I'm not even going to worry about that. Would I like to have it sooner and be thinner for my wedding, yes, but that's not going to happen. Right now I'm waiting for the surgeon to schedule my first office appointment...he's so busy with these surgeries that you can't just call and get an appointment. He fits you in somewhere and you just better drop everything and go when he wants you. One thing that concerns me is my insurance will change over to Erik's in May. I hope the switch doesn't delay everything.

I found a quote yesterday that sums up how I feel right now and it's from the book I'm reading, "Broken Open" by Elizabeth Lesser. It's about getting through difficult times and how to handle changes. The quote is from writer Anais Nin:

"And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"

I'm going to go through a lot of changes this year. Change is always hard for me...I never want to leave my safe little box. The time has come though...it's time for me to blossom. It's time to see what else is out there in the world for me. You'll have to be patient with me while I freak out, because I know I will...lol.

I'll try to get around to everyone and visit. See ya!