Hmmm...

As much as I have going on in my life, I really have nothing I want to blog about. It's all kinda depressing right now...my wedding is postponed, my cruise is cancelled...all due to Mom's cancer. I never wanted this to be a sad blog, so I just don't say anything anymore.

I'm still at my Facebook...it's about the only thing I have energy for on the internet. I hope you guys understand. I think I'll just lay low for awhile until there is something good to talk about. Bye bye for now.

Surgery is on...

The doctors met today and changed their minds about operating on my mom...I think they had to force the pulmonologist to change his mind, but anyway. We don't know when they're planning the surgery, but all three doctors in charge have met with Mom to discuss things.

It's a high risk surgery. What they all say is that they're only operating because there are no alternatives. She will die if they don't operate and remove the tumor. The thing is, there is a big possibility she will die anyway. They believe she will survive the surgery, but not the recovery. They're afraid she won't be able to fight infection, pneumonia, etc. Mom told them that if she was going to die, she wanted to die fighting. So they're going to allow her to fight.

If we can get her through the first week after surgery, she has a great chance of returning to a normal life. We just have to keep praying that she's stronger than we think.

And while we're at it, pray for my strength too...

Now What...

The surgeon won't operate on my mom. She was given an ultrasound and breathing test today to make sure she was strong enough to go through surgery. She isn't. The pulmonologist told her that he didn't think she would ever breathe on her own if they went through with the surgery. She would never come off the ventilator.

So here we are...no one has given her any alternatives to surgery. My mother wants to fight this, but no one is telling her how. I'm really angry with her doctors...these men walk in and announce something awful, then leave the room and we never see them again. The only person who seems concerned is her afternoon shift nurse, a really sweet woman who tries to answer all our questions.

This time last week, we thought Mom was fine...or as fine as she has been since the emphysema. She went to the hospital with bronchitis...and ended up with cancer. I'm in shock and exhausted. My sister and I haven't slept well in a week. And I get married in 7 weeks. We already know we're canceling the cruise, and I'm not sure about the wedding at this point either. It all depends on what (if any) options the doctors give us.

The roller coaster is never going to stop...

It's not good news for my mom. She finally had the colonoscopy today. They found a large mass on her colon. She will have surgery Monday if the doctors think her oxygen levels are high enough.

We're just in shock now...and I could really hurt the nurse who accidentally "let it slip" that there was a mass. She assumed we had already spoken to the doctor. Her first question...before she opened her mouth...should have been "Has the doctor been in to see you?". As of 30 minutes ago, the doctor had not been in to talk to my mother.

Just pray for us.

Pray

Sorry for the really short blog posts, but life is super busy right now. I miss you guys and I try to get around to read your blogs, even if I don't have a chance to comment.

One thing I need from ya'll right now is prayers and/or good thoughts. My mom is in the hospital...her oxygen level is really low and they're doing chest x-rays. She has had Emphysema for years and now has a virus on top of that. She's just not feeling well at all. Just keep her in your thoughts, if you don't mind. :)

I'll be back around when the roller coaster stops for awhile. lol

Wedding Frenzy...

Tell me again why I'm getting married?? lol