Christmas Blog Swap!

Thanks to Shannon at Sweet Blessings, I've been seeing spots! Shannon was my swap partner this year and all of my gifts came with polka dots...even the box she sent was polka dotted. Fun!!



Ornaments...A Christmas CD...sugar cookie coffee...a red and white polka dotted picture frame...well, I'll just let you look for yourself.





My son's favorite gift (he tends to consider himself a part of these swaps) was the 3D Polar Express movie. He loves it!

Thank you, Shannon!! I loved all my swap gifts!

I'M BACK! You've been warned...

I needed a place to show off my Christmas blog swap gifts, so I'm back on my blog. I might even try to keep up with my blog again if I have some time. I don't have time now...but I'm just sayin'.

Decisions

Mom saw the surgeon today. We've been holding our breath waiting for this day because she was supposed to get a lung function test to see whether she had improved enough for surgery...and I've been a basket case wondering when we can go ahead with the wedding and if we could get it over with before her surgery. Anyway, he took one look at her and told her he wasn't doing the lung function test yet. Her lungs are just not doing as well as he wanted them to at this point. But he was still certain that he could operate on her.

I met with him privately and asked if he could just give me some kind of idea of when she would have her surgery. He looked at me and said, "You're getting married aren't you?". I told him that I was and he asked if my plans had changed because of all this. I told him, "WELL, YEAH. WHAT DO YOU THINK??" No, no, I didn't say that. I did tell him that we had canceled our cruise, postponed the wedding, etc. So we sat down with a calendar and he said to go ahead with our original wedding plans for May 30th...honeymoon the first week of June...then Mom can have surgery the 2nd week of June. This way, Mom can be happy and healthy at my wedding. She will also get a couple more weeks of respiratory therapy (which he was going to recommend anyway).

I'm relieved that we can go through with the wedding like we originally planned with Mom there...but I'm scared to death for her. He reminded her today that her chances are "iffy" at best. Surgery is just the first step in whatever process she has to go through. All any of us can do is pray.

Mother's Day Swap! ( a little early)

I'm not sure if I'll be around tomorrow to post this, so I'm doing it early. We're spending the day tomorrow with my mom and I don't want to interrupt any time with her right now.

Anyway, my swap buddy was Meg

She sent the greatest stuff! It all had a tea and whimsy theme as you can see. A tea towel...a good English mystery...bags of tea...a flower for my hair...a journal...and she even sent a Slinky. So now my 9 year old is her biggest fan! I haven't seen that Slinky since the day it got here...what do you want to bet that's it's somewhere in Bailey's room? I opened up the jar of lemon curd, thinking it was a lemon scented candle...I ended up with lemon curd on my nose! It both smelled and tasted really good.

Thank you Becca for organizing everything! I love these swaps...it's a wonderful way to get to know people and there is nothing better than giving and receiving gifts, don't ya think?

Hmmm...

As much as I have going on in my life, I really have nothing I want to blog about. It's all kinda depressing right now...my wedding is postponed, my cruise is cancelled...all due to Mom's cancer. I never wanted this to be a sad blog, so I just don't say anything anymore.

I'm still at my Facebook...it's about the only thing I have energy for on the internet. I hope you guys understand. I think I'll just lay low for awhile until there is something good to talk about. Bye bye for now.

Surgery is on...

The doctors met today and changed their minds about operating on my mom...I think they had to force the pulmonologist to change his mind, but anyway. We don't know when they're planning the surgery, but all three doctors in charge have met with Mom to discuss things.

It's a high risk surgery. What they all say is that they're only operating because there are no alternatives. She will die if they don't operate and remove the tumor. The thing is, there is a big possibility she will die anyway. They believe she will survive the surgery, but not the recovery. They're afraid she won't be able to fight infection, pneumonia, etc. Mom told them that if she was going to die, she wanted to die fighting. So they're going to allow her to fight.

If we can get her through the first week after surgery, she has a great chance of returning to a normal life. We just have to keep praying that she's stronger than we think.

And while we're at it, pray for my strength too...

Now What...

The surgeon won't operate on my mom. She was given an ultrasound and breathing test today to make sure she was strong enough to go through surgery. She isn't. The pulmonologist told her that he didn't think she would ever breathe on her own if they went through with the surgery. She would never come off the ventilator.

So here we are...no one has given her any alternatives to surgery. My mother wants to fight this, but no one is telling her how. I'm really angry with her doctors...these men walk in and announce something awful, then leave the room and we never see them again. The only person who seems concerned is her afternoon shift nurse, a really sweet woman who tries to answer all our questions.

This time last week, we thought Mom was fine...or as fine as she has been since the emphysema. She went to the hospital with bronchitis...and ended up with cancer. I'm in shock and exhausted. My sister and I haven't slept well in a week. And I get married in 7 weeks. We already know we're canceling the cruise, and I'm not sure about the wedding at this point either. It all depends on what (if any) options the doctors give us.

The roller coaster is never going to stop...

It's not good news for my mom. She finally had the colonoscopy today. They found a large mass on her colon. She will have surgery Monday if the doctors think her oxygen levels are high enough.

We're just in shock now...and I could really hurt the nurse who accidentally "let it slip" that there was a mass. She assumed we had already spoken to the doctor. Her first question...before she opened her mouth...should have been "Has the doctor been in to see you?". As of 30 minutes ago, the doctor had not been in to talk to my mother.

Just pray for us.

Pray

Sorry for the really short blog posts, but life is super busy right now. I miss you guys and I try to get around to read your blogs, even if I don't have a chance to comment.

One thing I need from ya'll right now is prayers and/or good thoughts. My mom is in the hospital...her oxygen level is really low and they're doing chest x-rays. She has had Emphysema for years and now has a virus on top of that. She's just not feeling well at all. Just keep her in your thoughts, if you don't mind. :)

I'll be back around when the roller coaster stops for awhile. lol

Wedding Frenzy...

Tell me again why I'm getting married?? lol

Stolen from Becca...Random Facts

Random, odd facts about me..


Do I snore? Only when asleep on my back, which I try to never do.

Lover or a fighter? You know, I think I'm more of a fighter. I don't want to be, but that's the mindset I've been in for a long time.

As a kid, were I a Lego builder? Were? I were not. I didn't have Lego's.

What do I think of "Reality TV"? Can't stand it!! I watched the very first Survivor, but when the mean naked man won, I swore to never watch that stuff again.

Do I chew on straws? Nope, or pencils either.

Was I a cute baby? I guess...I had the biggest ears though.

How is the single life for me? Almost over!!

What color is me keyboard? Argh, am I a pirate? Me keyboard is black, argh...

Do I sing in the shower? Nope, usually I'm just barely awake.

Have I ever bungee jumped? No, chubby girls do not bungee jump...

Any secret talents? If I told you, I would have to shoot you.

What's my ideal vacation? a house on a private beach on an island...windows all around...white curtains...within driving distance to fun stuff. I've had this in my head for awhile.

Have I eaten sushi? Yes, and I only like the stuff that's been warmed. Cold fish is gross.

Have I seen the movie "Donnie Darko" No, but I've heard it's good.

Do I give a darn about the ozone? Yes, but there are other things that worry me more.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? No clue...candy is not my thing.

Can I sing the alphabet backwards? I guess, but I don't want to.

Have I ever been on an airplane? Yep, but not since 1993.

Are Speedos hot? Not on anyone, at any time.

What's my stand on hunting? Fun for Erik...boring for me.

Is marriage in my future? Why yes, yes it is.

Do I like my handwriting? Yep, I have a very nice handwriting. Or at least I used to.

What am I allergic to? Penicillin.

When was the last time I said "I Love You"? Last night

Is Tupac still alive? Not to my knowledge

Do I cry at weddings? I try to avoid weddings.

How do I like my eggs? scrambled...with cheese and salt and pepper

Are blonds dumb? Nope

Where does the other sock end up? I think there is a tunnel under my house, directly below my dryer.

What time is it? 8:48am...to early to be up on spring break

Do I have a nickname? not really

Is McDonald's disgusting? Nope, I'm fond of the chicken nuggets

When was the last time I was in a car? last night

Do I prefer baths or showers? Showers

Is Santa Clause real? Yep

Am I afraid of the dark? Yep

What am I addicted to? Food...reading

Crunchy or creamy peanut butter? Creamy

Have I ever ridden in an ambulance? Yes, with my mom when she broke her ankle

How many times have I brushed my teeth today? none yet...don't let me breathe on you

Is drug free the way to be? Yes, if you're talking about the illegal ones

Am I wearing socks? Nope

Have I ever hitch hiked? Never

What color are my eyes? Brown

When was the last time I cried? Hmmm, when I felt bad last week

Do I like my life? My life is wonderful!

Whose life is better? To me, skinny people have a better life...but they might disagree

Am I physic? Do you mean psychic? No...and I'm not physic either.

Have I read "Catcher in the Rye"? Yes!! One of my favorites!

Do I play any instruments? Nope

Can I skateboard? I've tried...and no I can't

Do I like camping? No, I'm more of a hotel girl

Do I snort when I laugh? Only once in a while

Do I believe in magic? Yep

Is a dog man's best friend? Yes, they probably are...just not mine

Do I believe in divorce? I would have to say yes to this now...but I think some people give up too easily

Can I do the Moonwalk? I could in 6th grade, but not now

Does my mom know if I have a Face book page? I think so, but she can't even get on her computer without our help

What was the last thing that I ate? Mini burgers from Chili's

Do I like someone right now? I like everyone!!

What's the most annoying TV commercial? Jack In The Box commercials. Geico commercials too.

Do I shop at Target or WalMart*? Mostly Walmart...because groceries are cheaper there. I like Target much better though.

Favorite band at the moment? Paramore...Rascal Flatts...No way could I stop at one.

Wow...

I didn't realize how much of a toll Mono would take on me. It's now been a week since I started feeling symptoms and I'm still unable to function normally. I did work yesterday, but I think I survived on pure adrenaline. By 1:00 or so, I was shaky and sweaty and ready to get out of there.

I thought I was strong enough to go to Walmart for some groceries last night. Big mistake. I was ready to pass out within minutes so Erik took me home. I crashed in my bed around 9 last night while he went back to get the things we needed. Then today I slept until...get this...noon. I have never done that!

This upcoming week is spring break, so I should be able to get all the rest I need. I hope I feel more like myself by the time I go back to work. Now, I think I'll go take a nap...

So much for my self-diagnosis...

It's not flu. It's mono.

I should feel better by my wedding day...right?

My teeth are chattering...

I got chills, they're multiplyin'...

I think I have the flu. Fever, chills, painful cough. The whole kit 'n caboodle (is that how you spell it?) I've had a flu shot, but when one of my classes came down with it, our school nurse explained to us that our flu shot covered a different kind of flu...we were still susceptible to the kind the kids' had.

I'm staying home from work today which I'm sure will just thrill my boss. I've already been home several days this semester with Bailey sick. Oh well, more time to work on wedding stuff. I scanned 175 childhood pics of Erik and I this past weekend, all for our slide show. Yes, I know I'll have to edit that number down or else our slide show will be an hour long...but his pictures are so cute! I want to use all of them!

Have a wonderful week everybody! 5 days 'til Spring Break...well, actually 4 days now.

Wedding Details!

Here is our tentative plan for the wedding:

We're going to start out with a slide show. Different songs are going to play while we show pictures of ourselves from childhood to now. Bailey even has a segment of the slide show. That will play as people are entering the church. Our music choices are still a little bit up in the air...I seem to be eliminating more of Erik's choices than mine. I can't help it...I'm just really picky.

A friend of mine will then start playing the bagpipes...he will play as Erik and his best man walk in and stand and continue playing while one by one our nieces and nephew walk down the aisle. Since they're really all too old to be ring bearers and flower girls we just want them to walk in so they can be part of it.

After that, my best friend and her sister will sing a duet that Erik loves as my sister and then Bailey and I walk down the aisle. Bailey is going to stand with us...he's as much a part of it as we are. I have no idea about the rest of the wedding...although I think our reception is pretty well figured out. We have a chocolate covered strawberry theme there. Erik is really excited about that...lol.

I can't believe the wedding is almost here. Two months basically and I don't feel prepared at all. I don't even have a dress picked out!!! Maybe I should do that!

So what do you think? Is is a weird wedding, or what? lol

Sunday Stealing: Procrastination Tool Meme

Cheers to all us thieves!

1. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
any Mexican or Japanese restaurant

2. What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it?
cheese dip and chips

3. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Tonsils...a baby

4. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
I practically lifted Bailey today...he would not bend over to get a shot at the doctor!

5. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Nope

6. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
NO

7. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
I would change my middle name to almost anything...

8. What’s your goal for the year?
To stop stressing about everything...to enjoy life more

9. Last person you hugged?
my sick little boy

10. First place you went this morning?
Bathroom

11. Do you always answer your phone?
No...if you're an 800 number, I won't answer.

12. It’s four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Erik's mom likes to send messages at that time.

13. If you could change your eye color what would it be?
Green

14. What’s on your wish list for your birthday?
any gift from my HUSBAND lol.

15. Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
Both...

16. Do you have any saved texts?
probably

17. Ever been in a car wreck?
Yes

18. Do you have an accent?
I have a southern accent, so yes.

19. What was the last song to make you cry?
Almost all the songs we've chosen for our wedding slideshow.

20. What did you do last night?
Took care of Bailey and watched Love Boat on DVD...to prepare for our cruise. lol

21. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Yes, November 12, 2007

22. Current hate right now?
I don't hate anything.

23. Met someone who changed your life?
Yes, some for better...some for worse. That's life.

24. How did you bring in the New Year?
With a brand spankin' new engagement ring!!!

25. What song represents you?
Bitch by Meredith Brooks...just kidding! That was a good song though...

Random Thoughts...

I thought it was about time I updated. I can't help it...I really had nothing interesting to share. February is like that. I was bored living my life, much less writing about it. Anyway, here are some random thoughts/feelings/gripes from the last couple of weeks.

1. My son participated in his first pinewood derby today with Cub Scouts. He came in 4th. He was .3 seconds behind the 3rd place finisher. My question is, who decided that only the top 3 get trophies? Yes, I'm a little disappointed for my boy, but this was his first year to do this. We'll try again next year.

2. I'm tired of hearing the words "weight related" every time I visit a doctor. Not every health issue can be "weight related". I think it's discrimination.

3. These wedding plans are driving me crazy. I want to go live in a cave until it's all over. (But we have some really great stuff planned!)

4. It was 75 degrees outside day before yesterday. Today it's snowing. I can't keep my sinuses happy.

Hmmm, I can't think of anything else to say. Plus, my kid is sick as a dog with tonsillitis and keeps interrupting me. I hope everyone has a good weekend!!

You know what they say about plans...

Oh well, I just thought I was keeping an important job announcement from you guys. A few weeks ago, I finally had had ENOUGH of the constant drama where I work. I didn't become a teacher to work with grownups...I wanted to work with children. I don't really get to do that though. I supervise...I don't teach.

Anyway, I was ready to give it up at the end of the school year. I applied for graduate school...I applied for financial aid. Erik agreed to switch shifts at his job to make more money. I agreed to find part time work while I went back to school. Then the crappy economy slapped us in the face.

Erik went to a meeting yesterday in which he learned that there may be major layoffs where he works. The factory is struggling...filed bankruptcy last year and still trying to keep afloat. There are rumors that another company is buying them out. Major changes are definitely ahead for them. He doesn't think he'll lose his job there, but he may be demoted. He will take a major pay cut just to keep this job...a job he's had for 11 years.

Don't get me wrong. I love the people I work with...I adore the kids. I love so much about this job. I'm tired though...I've already lasted more years at it than most special ed teachers. It was time for a change. I may still take one class a semester, but I wanted to just be free for awhile. Oh well. It's probably not to be for a few more years.

Valentine's Swap 2009!

Am I the first one awake this morning?? I've been up since 5:30...sneezing. My allergies are killing me. Anyway, time to show off my Valentine gifts and thank my wonderful swap buddy Tracie!



What wonderful gifts! She gave me an inspirational book of stories, some of which have gotten me all choked up. She also gave me a gorgeous red bracelet accented with a heart, two cute Valentine towels, a pretty heart covered bucket and two chocolate suckers. At one point, there was also a bag of chocolate candy. It has uh...inexplicably disappeared. Yeah, disappeared.

Can't wait to see everyone else's stuff! Thank you again, Tracie!

Springtime Survey...from Dory

13 Questions about Springtime:

1. If you could pick one season to last all year (without moving), would you? Which one would it be? I would pick late spring, early summer. Am I allowed to be that specific? I love it when the sun is really bright outside and the temps are still in the 80's.

2. Do you have spring allergies? I have year round allergies! Right now I feel like my head is being squeezed.

3. Name your three favorite blooming flowers. Most flowers make my throat hurt, so I'm not as fond of them as I should be. However, I love fuchsias, roses, and daisies.

4. Do you trim your trees in the spring before new growth begins or in the fall before they go dormant for the winter? I only had one tree and the ice broke it in too many places to save it. I did have it trimmed in the spring though. *sob*

5. Do you mow your own yard or do you hire someone to do it? I used to pay a guy in my neighborhood $10 to mow it, but now Erik handles that. Yay!

6. When do you start to wear sandals? (The first day without snow?) I can't wear sandals at work so I probably wait later than anyone. Sometime in mid spring.

7. Do you mind the whole “April showers” thing? YES, I don't like rain.

8. Name three things that constitute “spring cleaning” for you? I love spring cleaning! I open the doors and let the warmth and wind in while I clean the floors, rearrange the furniture and redo the closets.

9. Do you actually DO spring cleaning? See above...

10. Do the longer daylight hours of springtime change your evening routine from what you did on dreary winter evenings? Yes, I'm more likely to get out at night and shop or visit friends. I don't drive well at night.

11. What are you looking forward to most this spring? My wedding!!!!

12. Do you ever want to “play hookey” from work on the 1st lovely spring days of spring? I always want to play hookey from work.

13. Is it time to clean out your closet? ;) No, they're okay right now. I had help with them in the fall.

Saying Hi...

Hi! I don't really have any big news but I'm in the mood to blog, so here I am. I did order Valentine's Day goodies for my boys today. For Bailey, I ordered a singing balloon (that should drive me crazy) and a stuffed bat. I know that's weird, but he's a nine year old boy and he didn't want anything "girly". A bat is definitely not girly and I think he'll love it...he's just that kind of kid.

For Erik, the girl I talked to from the florist recommended a coffee mug decorated in deer hunting stuff and a couple of balloons. I'm a little nervous because I ordered all of this over the phone. I trust this florist though and have ordered from them every year so it should be okay.

We're sickly here at my house...Erik and I are miserable with sinus infections (probably from letting the cats live inside for the last few weeks). We've got to get some consistent weather outside...this fluctuation in temps is not helping anyone. It's 56 degrees today, but I hear the temps are going down this weekend.

Bailey is just crazy lately. I got a note from his teacher yesterday letting me know how his behavior has changed. He's talking constantly at school...and at home for that matter. Apparently yesterday his teacher was evaluated by the school principal and Bailey would not behave...he got in trouble repeatedly for talking even while the principal was in the classroom. I was furious with him when I found that out. There is nothing more nerve wracking for a teacher than being watched and judged by the principal while children are misbehaving. Needless to say, Bailey is grounded from the tv, computer and video games until the weekend and feeling guilty for acting so terrible. She did say in her letter to me that he's always a respectful, sweet kid who has always been good before. I'm hoping this weather is causing a little of this...he's cooped up inside the house and has been since the beginning of winter. Now he can't even go out in the driveway to ride his bike or scooter because of the fallen limbs. Our whole yard is a safety hazard right now.

Oh well, that's all I've got for now. I did mail out my Valentine's swap gifts on time so I hope they're either there already or on their way! Can't wait to see what everyone is getting.

My name is Kelly, and I'm a Mountain Dewaholic...

Sometime before the ice storm happened I mentioned that I was going to have Lapband surgery. Well, I finally had my office consult with the surgeon this week and he says it looks like I'll be ready for surgery in as little as 8 weeks as long as my insurance cooperates. He only had one concern from all the questionnaires I had filled out in his office...what kind of sugary beverage was I consuming "several" glasses of daily??

I told him Mt. Dew and watched his eyes roll. For those who don't know about the deliciousness that is Mt. Dew, let me explain it. Mt. or Mountain Dew (if you have time to type it out) is a southern concoction owned by the Pepsi people with more sugar and caffeine in it than basically any other carbonated beverage. It's also been the love of my food-life and bane of my weight-existence since I was a kid.

When he learned that Mt. Dew was my weakness, my doctor flatly informed me that I had to give them up IMMEDIATELY. He even told me that if he found out that I was still drinking them up to the time of my surgery, he would NOT perform the surgery. He was that serious about it. No more Mt. Dews, or any other carbonated beverages...ever. The theory is that the carbonation in sodas (or pops for you northern folks) makes your stomach expand and messes up your appetite and could displace the Lapband, thus irritating and annoying your surgeon profusely when he has to go back in and fix it...

I'm okay with doing away with every other soda...I'm very happy with unsweet tea. It's what I drink at all restaurants and most of the time at home. I don't like any other soda except Mt. Dew...but my like of Mt. Dew borders on obsession. To badly quote Twilight, Mt. Dew is my "exact brand of heroin". How sad is that?? I can understand an obsession with cheesecake or Snickers bars...my love for chicken nachos is pretty strong...but giving up Mt. Dew makes me want to cry. Seriously.

My mother drinks Dr. Pepper and my dad was a Pepsi fan, but from a very young age I can remember begging them to buy me Mt. Dew. I would have always rather had water than any other soda. I will turn my nose up at the rest of them. I have no idea what it is about Mt. Dew that I love...it has sugar, but so do all the other drinks...it has caffeine, but so does iced tea. I don't get it, but if I've had a bad day or I'm under stress, a nice cold 20 oz. serving of the yellow green (I'll admit it looks like pee) stuff makes me feel better. It's my ultimate comfort food and it isn't even a food. The first thing I do when I arrive at work in the morning is take a sip from a Mt. Dew. They can bombard me with all the paperwork and drama and craziness all day...as long as I have a Mt. Dew to smooth it over. It's also the first thing I want in the morning...just like that first cigarette of the morning that my mom used to talk about.

I know I have to give them up. I haven't had one since my doctor told me not to, and I won't have one. I really want this surgery to work. I probably won't really miss them until Monday morning at work. That's when it will hit me. If my mom can quit smoking...an actual addiction...then surely I can quit my favorite soda. Right? Of course I can...

Wish me luck.

The Ice Storm Pictures

The tree in the last two pictures is mine...was mine. It fell branch by branch onto our roof and into the yard. You see the man under the tree? That's Erik...and one Y shaped branch fell on him, but he was standing in the Y and only got scratches.

Even pictures can't describe how scary this area looks right now, but you get the idea.

The Big Thaw...

We finally have electricity after five days in the dark because of the horrible ice storm. There was a total blackout in my county last Tuesday. No power...no phones, even cell phone service was gone for days. Many others in my town and surrounding towns are still in the dark and could be for five weeks. No one has worked or gone to school since last Monday. We lost a local police chief when a tree branch fell on him, killing him instantly. Others are in hospitals due to carbon monoxide poisoning. We have crews from surrounding states working round the clock to restore power. There are water boil orders...trees down in the middle of houses...curfews...and churches that have become temporary homes.

We're lucky...it could have been so much worse. We'll all recover from this. I'm just thankful my sister got her power back on before us and we had a warm place to stay. I've never been through anything like this, and I never want to go through it again. I will never take for granted things like batteries...electricity...blankets...flashlights...hot food...and family.

I have pictures, but my camera is still at my sister's house. You have to see it all to believe it. I'll get pics up this afternoon.

It's happened again...

This always happens. I get too wrapped up in life and forget to blog. Well, I don't actually forget, but I just don't have time. Forgive me?? I guess I'll just give you guys an update although I really want to talk about a decision I've made. I can't say much yet, but it involves work. You guys who've known me for years and gone through the job stress with me will understand.

Anyway, let's review what's happened since I was here last. My aunt died. She was my mother's sister. We were never really close to her...I'm not sure what happened between those two as kids, but she and my mom didn't get along. I saw her sporadically over the years, and that always upset me because I loved her kids and grandkids. I would really have liked to be close with them. My mom's brother and his family was always very close to my aunt...they hung around together all the time. I hate going to that kind of funeral...where you should be close to the family but aren't and you spend all your time sitting in a corner because no on knows you. Yeah, good times.

One thing I noticed at the funeral was how frail my mother has become. She found out eight years ago that she has Emphysema and it has taken it's toll. She can't walk for long distances...she has trouble breathing...even a trip to the grocery store exhausts her. But seeing her with people her own age was a shock...she was like a ninety year old. Her brother helped her walk at the visitation...she couldn't walk out to the cemetary for the funeral so I stayed inside the church with her. People came up to her as she sat to give their condolences because she didn't have the energy to go to them. Her sister was 77 when she died and Mom is 71. I don't know that my mom will make it to 77 and it's really hit me hard.

Erik and I are doing fine. We have our cruise almost paid for...just waiting for tax refunds to finish it off. We've decided to have a very small, family only wedding to cut down on costs but then we're having a huge reception/party once we come back from the cruise. I'm not a big wedding person...I think a lot of money is wasted on the ceremony, so this seems best for us. Bailey is excited, though he's already starting to dread this summer because of the visits with his dad. I told him he would probably spend that week of our cruise with his dad and he cried. He wants to spend it with my sister and her kids, but this way he's at least getting the first week of his six week visitation with his dad out of the way. What a pain.

Oh, big news and I almost forgot! I'm in the "process" of getting scheduled for Lapband surgery. I say it like that because it's still going to take forever to get to that point. I'm sure it won't take place until after my wedding and cruise, so I'm not even going to worry about that. Would I like to have it sooner and be thinner for my wedding, yes, but that's not going to happen. Right now I'm waiting for the surgeon to schedule my first office appointment...he's so busy with these surgeries that you can't just call and get an appointment. He fits you in somewhere and you just better drop everything and go when he wants you. One thing that concerns me is my insurance will change over to Erik's in May. I hope the switch doesn't delay everything.

I found a quote yesterday that sums up how I feel right now and it's from the book I'm reading, "Broken Open" by Elizabeth Lesser. It's about getting through difficult times and how to handle changes. The quote is from writer Anais Nin:

"And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"

I'm going to go through a lot of changes this year. Change is always hard for me...I never want to leave my safe little box. The time has come though...it's time for me to blossom. It's time to see what else is out there in the world for me. You'll have to be patient with me while I freak out, because I know I will...lol.

I'll try to get around to everyone and visit. See ya!

My special needs cat...

It's 17 degrees outside. Being the awesome pet parents we are, Erik and I brought two of our three cats into the house until it warms up (Stormy, the rebel, refused to be moved inside). Erik set up two litter boxes, and we hoped and prayed the youngest cat, Shorty, would use one of them...or at least use a spot on the floor that we could easily clean. Back when I did have him inside, his favorite places were beside the end table and behind the recliner.

Do you remember when I mentioned Shorty? We could never litter box train him...he poops on the driveway...he poops on the front porch...he has issues.

We left the house like usual this morning. I went to work and Erik took Bae to school. I got a text message at 8:30 from Erik. He returned to the house...Shorty had pooped on the coffee table.

Then tonight, we come home from getting pizza...Shorty had pooped under the computer table.

Needless to say, Shorty is on his own tonight...outside.

The Love Boat...

soon will be making another run...ahem, sorry.

We booked our cruise!! Seven days on Carnival...Montego, Grand Cayman, Cozumel. Yay! I was a little freaked out about it yesterday (big purchases make me nauseous), but everyone says we got a good deal and it's so much cheaper than any of those couples/honeymoon resorts. I'm excited!

Honeymoon advice needed...

Uh, not THAT kind of advice silly!

Erik and I are trying to decide where to go on our honeymoon and he's really wanting to go on a cruise. I've never been on a cruise, but I thought some of you might have. Can anyone give us advice or tell us how their trip went? Any help is appreciated!

Bleh...

I hate January. It has me in a funk...as usual this time of year. I just get sluggish and moody after Christmas. Even my blog posts aren't coming along as fast as they were. I don't know if things would be different had I not become a teacher, but as soon as Christmas break is over I'm depressed for weeks. There is nothing in the near future to look forward to except really cold, rainy weather and stir crazy preschoolers (as well as teachers).

Work stinks because we're coming down from the holiday high...first, we have Halloween and the parties, costumes and treats that go along with that. Then Thanksgiving, where we get out for three days and we make all kinds of cool art projects. Then December is just fun all around with food and presents and parties. But what the heck do we do with January? We make the requisite snowmen in art...but what's the point of that when it hardly ever snows here? I get tired of reading books about snow when it's 50 degrees outside. And we have no break at school until mid March. Not even a day off unless we get a day out for an ice storm...and we have to make those up in June.

And just the general mood of January is no fun. It's usually cloudy and the sun goes down at 5. I don't like coats or sweaters...and my skin dries up like an itchy prune. I'm not fond of February either, but at least it's short and closer to spring. The sun stays out a little longer. I can survive February...at least there is Valentine's Day to make things fun at school.

I'm literally counting down the days until spring on a calendar on my front door. I really should live in Florida. I'm SO not a winter person...

Okay, I'm done bi*chin' now.

So this is how it happened...

We got the ring back from Zales on Monday. All that was left to do was have our annual New Year's Eve party and wait until Erik proposed. Our party was great...with the exception of having to clean the house for days beforehand. We were playing Trivial Pursuit 80's Edition when the countdown to midnight began. Everyone was counting and Erik took the little box out of his computer desk. Right at midnight he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I said yes, and even though it wasn't a surprise, I still cried. It was so sweet. Bailey was jumping up and down and my friends were clapping. It couldn't have been any better.

So now we have the wedding to plan. Some must haves:

1. Bailey has to be there. His father secretly married 5 weeks after our divorce without his son there. I thought that was really tacky and sneaky. My son will be front and center on my wedding day...because it's his life that's changing too.

2. Laid back and informal. I don't like weddings, mine or anyone else's. Ceremonies annoy me...and stress me out. I don't do weddings or graduations and I hate funerals. I'm weird that way. However, I do want something for my family and Erik's family to attend...even it's just really small and casual.

3. Sixty pounds less. I'm not about to make a resolution this year after getting everything I've ever wanted, but I do need to lose weight. 60 pounds won't get it all off me, but it will definitely make me feel better. I'm the worst diet slacker there is...wish me luck on this one.

Any ideas on this stuff??

...

I'M ENGAGED!!!!!

Oh, and Happy New Year! :)